Personal Experience Guides Leader of Group for Families of Gay People

Eunice, La., is far from being a mecca of gay culture. Like many small communities, the town of 11,500 is a place where the prevailing view is that being gay or lesbian simply is not something that should be talked about.

At first blush, Jody Huckaby’s family would appear to fall in line with the traditional view of gay and lesbian life in Eunice. Strongly Catholic and devoutly Republican, Mr. Huckaby’s parents raised eight children in a household where old-school religion ruled. Jody enrolled in divinity school and one of his sisters is now a nun.

But four Christmases in the 1980s spun the Huckaby family’s views on gay and lesbian issues in an entirely new direction.

The first to come out was Jason, the oldest son, who announced to the family during a Christmas gathering 19 years ago that he was gay. Jody, the seventh of the eight children, made his announcement one year later. Two other brothers followed during the family’s next two Christmas gatherings.

“It wasn’t easy when Jason, my older brother, came out,” Jody Huckaby recalls. “He really struggled with it. But over the course of four years, as the four of us came out, for each successive person who came out it became easier.”

Mr. Huckaby, 40, hopes his story will help inspire other families with sons and daughters — or brothers and sisters — who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. As the new executive director of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Mr. Huckaby also hopes to lean on his experiences to help stimulate discussions in the broader population about gay and lesbian issues.

The nonprofit organization, which was founded in 1973, has about 250,000 members in more than 500 chapters. Its Washington headquarters has about 20 employees, and is best known for its efforts to provide support to people with children or siblings who are gay or lesbian. The group also provides counseling to teenagers who are struggling with their gender identity and sponsors tolerance-education programs at high schools and colleges nationally.

But as the rights of gays and lesbians have become an increasingly high-profile issue in the national political debate, the organization has also been raising its profile as an advocacy group on issues such as gay marriage, on-the-job discrimination, and the extension of Social Security benefits to domestic partners.

Mr. Huckaby says he plans to use his own story to help the organization spread its message to a larger audience. That story, says Samuel Thoron, president of the charity’s board, will give the organization credibility as it works to reach more people and expand the number of chapters.

“One of the really important aspects of our decision to hire Jody is, over the years, he has empowered those around him not so much to evangelize, but to understand and speak their voices,” says Mr. Thoron, who joined the group shortly after his daughter came out in 1990. “It’s vitally important now that we speak our truth and tell our stories.”

He adds that Mr. Huckaby, who makes $115,000 in his new role, is more than simply a leader with a strong personal story. He also has a strong résumé of growing and managing nonprofit organizations, including his most recent role as director of the Washington Humane Society, in the District of Columbia.

In an interview, Mr. Huckaby talked about his new position:

How has your family reacted to your taking on this role?

Before I accepted the job, I talked to my family and told them, ‘I want you all to know that I’m considering this, and if I take this, our family story would no longer just be a family story.’ The support has been tremendous.

One of the perspectives I hope I bring is that I’m not just a gay man, I’m also a brother and an uncle. One of my brothers is in Houston with his partner and they are raising two children. They are soccer dads on the weekend and dealing with school issues. That is what makes my experience unique. It’s not just me in my life.

What are your immediate goals?

Ninety-nine percent of chapters are all volunteer-driven, with no staff. That’s why the national organization is important, to help those volunteers. There’s nothing quite as inspiring to me as the volunteers who show up every day. The volunteers and the passion that the volunteers give of their time and resources, that’s what excites me every day.

We’re certainly seeing steady growth. The board of directors hasn’t set a timeline for growth over the next three to five years, but I believe the potential is there. It’s all about tapping into new resources as an organization. GLBT [gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender] issues were high on the list of issues to discuss in national elections and state and local elections. These issues, it’s okay to talk about them now.

What steps do you need to take to build more chapters?

It’s going to require more fund raising and more corporate partnerships. The potential for tapping into foundations and individuals, telling our story, and letting the broader public know that we’re more than just a support group, is remarkable.

How do gay and lesbian advocacy groups become more effective?

While there was a lot of good work that was done, we need to do more. There were a lot of people who dedicated their lives over the last year and a half to conveying the rationale for gay marriage, for example. But I think the GLBT organizations were out-resourced, when you compare the $200-plus-million spent by those opposing GLBT issues in the election. We need to make certain as national organizations that we get personal telling the stories of the people we represent.

How do you accomplish that?

The move that’s obvious is getting the various groups coming together. Every organization, every national organization, might be approaching the issue from a different perspective. But what we can learn is the value of cooperating — working well together so that the general public and the GLBT communities will see the national organizations as unified on the key issues.

ABOUT JODY HUCKABY, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, PARENTS, FAMILIES AND FRIENDS OF LESBIANS AND GAYS

Education: Earned his bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Dallas, in Irving, Tex., in 1986. Took courses toward a master of divinity degree at the University of Saint Mary of the Lake, in Chicago.

Previous employment: Has served as executive director of New Mexico AIDS Services, in Albuquerque, and the Bering Community Service Foundation, in Houston. Mr. Huckaby most recently worked as executive director of the Washington Humane Society, in the District of Columbia.

What he’s been reading: The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way, by Wayne W. Dyer.