A Major-Gift Ask Is About Much More Than Just the Dollars

In the world of fundraising, “the ask” gets enormous attention. How should fundraisers ask for a contribution? When should they ask, and how much should they ask for? Do they make a single ask (a major or annual-fund gift), a double ask (an annual and a major gift), or a triple (adding a deferred-gift request)? Or, as my friend Robert Sharpe sometimes suggests, tongue in cheek: “How about a triple ask with a twist and a back flip?”

Asking is an essential part of fundraising. In membership and annual-fund drives, for example, development teams must ask hundreds or even millions of people to give — often through direct mail, telephone solicitations, or online — so they can generate enough responses to meet short-term goals and introduce people to their organizations. In these cases, fundraisers spend 95 percent or more of their time asking for gifts and very little time getting to know individual donors.

In major-gift fundraising, however, there is an ask more important than the request for money. It’s crucial to find out from prospective donors what they and their families hope to accomplish with their philanthropy.

In the process of writing my book Belief and Confidence, I learned two important things from interviews with dozens of leading philanthropists:

• Most initiated their most successful gifts themselves — no one had asked for those donations.
• Most had never been asked what they wanted their giving to accomplish.

Foster a Partnership

Chicago philanthropists Dennis and Connie Keller, who contributed to the book, are generous donors and active volunteers. They have chaired boards, development committees, and campaign committees in drives to raise billions of dollars. Instead of just measuring the number of donor visits and proposals delivered, they approach fundraising as a partnership. They focus on helping donors give to society through their organizations rather than simply asking them to make a contribution.

How do they do that? Instead of thinking of major-gift fundraising as persuading potential donors to do something they’d otherwise not do, they think of it as enabling generous people to do what they want to do.

Three-fourths of high-net-worth donors have a strategy to guide their charitable giving, according to a 2014 U.S. Trust survey. But many fundraisers typically begin a conversation with a potential donor by asking questions like, “When did you last see one of our performances?” or “Can I tell you about our exciting new campaign?” Few fundraisers ever ask the most important question: “What are you trying to accomplish with your philanthropy, and how might we help?”

Once you’ve established that you’re committed to helping them succeed in their philanthropy, you can ask additional questions, such as:

• Is our organization one of the top recipients of your philanthropy? If not, might we earn such a position?
• Given our mission and plans, and given your objectives, how might we work together at even higher levels?
• What are we doing that gives you confidence in us as potential partners in your philanthropy?
• What do we need to do better to be one of your preferred philanthropic partners?

It’s not a Sales Pitch

Recently, I was talking to a major donor who was hesitant to ask friends to give to a group he felt passionately about. I asked him, “Has the organization been a worthy partner in your philanthropy? Has it done what it said it would do? Has it made you proud to be affiliated with it?” His answer was “yes” in each case. Then I asked, “Do you believe the organization might be a good partner for any of your friends, a vehicle through which they might have the impact on society they desire?”

“You don’t need to ask them to give,” I told him. “You can tell them that you’ve had a positive experience and ask them whether the organization might similarly offer them a positive experience.”

For a nonprofit’s staff members, asking for a gift — particularly in a first meeting — can be awkward and difficult. Much easier and more productive initial questions might include, “What would you like to accomplish with your philanthropy? What was the most successful gift you’ve made? What was your most enjoyable gift and why?”

If you begin with such questions, rather than with a sales pitch about your organization and its exciting plans, you will create a two-way conversation, and you will likely learn a great deal about how to engage each donor’s passion and interest.

I agree with those who think that asking for money is hard, frustrating work. But facilitating a philanthropic partnership is not hard at all.

Ronald J. Schiller is the author of Belief and Confidence and a founding partner of the Aspen Leadership Group and the Philanthropy Career Network.