How to Say No to Grant Seekers

People sometimes compare the courtship between grant makers and grant seekers to the dating process: Each is looking for the other and trying to build a relationship. At times, the chemistry is there; other times, it isn’t. Some rejections are inevitable, so learning to say no politely and confidently is an essential skill.

That said, let’s be frank: It’s hard to say no to friends or colleagues who ask for donations to their favorite cause especially if you have a small family foundation and the decisions seem more personal.

It’s uncomfortable. If you’re conflict-averse, you might reluctantly make a gift out of guilt or start avoiding the person seeking money, leading to more feelings of guilt and discomfort.

If your foundation is known to have financial resources and you’ve given to nonprofits before, you’re likely to face requests for donations time and time again. Saying no has never been easy, but there are ways to be gracious and direct in turning down requests. Grant makers who must say no on a regular basis tell us that mastering the turndown is something of an art form. You want to be sensitive, but you also want to avoid misunderstandings. Here are some of their tips for delivering that message, whether by letter or in a one-on-one conversation.

Respond promptly. Don’t wait for a follow-up call or to be cornered at an event. Reply immediately to the individual requesting the support. If the request is for a project that you clearly do not want to support, then the sooner you reply the better. Whether you send a letter or call, your response could begin something like this: “Thanks so much for your letter. I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible because I know the urgency of your organization’s work.”

Be direct. Grant makers generally want to explain their decision not to make a gift, and grant seekers want an explanation. However, over-explaining your reasoning can have unintended consequences.

Consider the foundation executive who, reluctant to avoid a blunt rejection, says, “Your project is good, but we don’t fund research that does not have a plan for implementing the findings.” Lo and behold, the fundraiser comes back to the donor shortly thereafter with a fully drawn-out implementation plan. This can lead to an even more difficult conversation because the nonprofit has put additional time into a proposal that still does not make sense for the foundation to support.

Cautious and experienced grant makers have learned this lesson and refrain from commenting too specifically on a request that they are unlikely to fund. When it comes to explanations, less is more. Sometimes the “it’s not you, it’s me” response is both effective and truthful, citing your own limitations — budget, the number of requests that you receive, and your desire to focus on a handful of causes.

Listen and validate. People tend to accept rejection more readily if they feel that they have been heard and understood. Sometimes listening to a “pitch” patiently and compassionately, even though you have little interest, gives the grant seekers the satisfaction of knowing they have made their best case to you.

To the degree that you feel comfortable doing so, you might make positive comments about the project or the organization — stopping short of raising expectations that you are a prospective donor. For example, you could say: “Your passion and dedication to serving the needy really comes through in your request, and I’m sure that other foundations will find it compelling.” Alternatively, you might respond: “It is clear that you and others worked really hard on this proposal, and I want you to know that I found it powerful, even though we have chosen not to offer support.”

Use your mission statement as a buffer. Foundation boards adopt mission statements and develop guidelines for their funding areas to communicate to grant seekers, peers, and the public. Having a mission statement and funding guidelines makes it easier to explain why a request wasn’t approved. For example, if your foundation exclusively supports the arts, then a proposal to fight global warming, no matter how worthy, is clearly a non-starter.

Choose your words carefully. It is important for donors and foundations to think through their response because the person they’re addressing is likely to be looking for any sign, however small, that the door is open for future support. Even well-meaning casual comments such as “Keep me informed of your progress” can unintentionally fuel expectations.

If there is no interest in the work of the organization, some donors seek to nip this in the bud by saying, “Unless we change our funding priorities, your organization will never be a good match for us.” It may sound harsh, but clarity and honesty in the short term can save time and effort and avoid ill will in the long run. Grant seekers appreciate such candor because it allows them to manage their time well and prioritize more viable opportunities.

Provide alternative support. There may be times when you want to say no to a request for funding yet still offer some other kind of support. For example, while declining to fund a community center’s ongoing programs, you could offer to volunteer your time during its annual winter coat drive. Similarly, you might be in a position to introduce the center to individuals who are more inclined to support it financially.

Turning down off-target requests is ultimately constructive for everyone. You help the nonprofit direct its fundraising efforts more appropriately and you stick to your own philanthropic goals.

It isn’t pleasant to decline a funding request, but imagine being acknowledged not only for your charitable giving but also for how gracefully and directly you were able to say no.

Page Snow is chief philanthropic officer at Foundation Source, which provides support services to more than 1,500 private foundations.